New Parents And Teens Child Parenting
Good Parents and Kids Parenting Tips
|
|
|
New Parents And Teens Child Parenting |
|
| ||||||
| ||||||
|
| ||||||
|
The baby sleep solution | Baby shower games | Secret to baby modeling success | Baby sign language | Planning baby showers | Baby boy names | | ||||||
|
You are free to use content from this page in your blog or website, in return for a link back to this page from that blog or website.
The Post-Holiday Blues In Stepfamilies
In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big disappointment--and post-holiday blues, says Susan Wisdom, a licensed professional counselor and co-author of "Stepcoupling." As a stepmom, I know about expectations. Every year, just before the holidays, I start thinking about how to recreate Christmas Eve at my grandmother's house. In her big two-story home, my family and I crowded into her dining room and kitchen with about two dozen relatives. We munched on turkey, cranberries and dressing, then topped off the meal with my grandma's home-made cookies. With my 14 siblings and cousins, I played board games while my dad and uncles stomped around on the roof, yelling "Santa's coming!" much to our delight. With these memories, it's easy to begin the holidays with huge expectations about what I want for my stepfamily. And it's easy to end the holidays with some sadness over how difficult it was to re-create the magic of my childhood. "There are so many expectations and the hype is so big," says Wisdom. "It can be a real setup. In reality, Christmas is not perfect in traditional families. There's a lot of stress." If your family is like ours, you may spend a lot of time negotiating with ex-spouses over who gets which child's--and when-- during the holidays. And if you family is like ours, you may be disappointed when kids announce they've already decorated two Christmas trees at their step-relatives' and refuse to do one more. Or they may arrive at your house exhausted from their "first" Christmas at the "other" house and may prefer napping to opening gifts. In addition, a stepchild may reject a stepparent, Wisdom says. Adults may drink too much and behave in ways they later regret. A child's biological parent may complain that a stepparent has more money to spend on gifts, creating tension between a child's two homes. As Shauna Haley, a stepmom in Portland, Oregon, says, "The holidays this year were such a painful reminder of our stepfamily situation-and how little influence I have on my stepdaughter's life." Her stepdaughter lives in another state, and only visited for a few days after Christmas this year. Haley had big dreams over how she would spend those few days with her stepdaughter, then was crushed when her dreams weren't realized and her stepdaughter was homesick. To help stepfamilies cope with such disappointment, Wisdom recommends that parents begin by doing some "patch up work" after the holiday season. Talk to your spouse, ex-spouse and children about the issues that came up during the holidays. "Reach out to your own children and each other's children. Understand what they were dealing with. Forgive them for fights or bad attitudes or moments of sibling rivalry that happen during the holidays under stress," Wisdom says. "Stepcouples need to be available to each other and to the children more than ever. This can be a hard time. Make amends, make apologies." If parents find it difficult to talk with ex-spouses, this may be a good time to go to counseling with ex-spouses about the many issues that come up during the holidays, she says. After trying to discuss the holidays with everyone involved, parents in stepfamilies should examine their expectations and consider toning them down next year. Wisdom recommends:
In an effort to follow the above advice, I try to joke about the fact that my 16-year-old prefers his stepmom's cooking during the holidays. "She bakes pies and lets me eat milk products," he likes to tell me, with a smile in his eyes. Rather than donning an apron and gorging my son with sweets and allergy-producing foods, I remind him of the time my holiday squash cannon-balled out of the oven! That memory always makes us laugh, which is indeed a great antidote to the post-holiday blues. Writer Lisa Cohn is co-author of "One Family, Two Family, New Family: Stories and Advice For Stepfamilies," which is a 2004 Gold National Parenting Publications Award winner. For more information, visit her at http://www.stepfamilyadvice.com.
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
The Real Problem With Todays Teenagers (And Why Most Parents Just Dont Get It!) "The inspiration of a noble cause involving human interests wide and far, enables men to do things they did not dream themselves capable of before, and which they were not capable of alone. The consciousness of belonging, vitally, to something beyond individuality; of being part of a personality that reaches we know not where, in space and time, greatens the heart to the limit of the soul's ideal, and builds out the supreme of character."(Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, October 3, 1889) Healthy Eating For children: Six Simple Rules Rule #1 Make Every Bite Count! Managing Your Stepfamily If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know how difficult it can be to integrate all of the new members and adjust to the new boundaries and rules. The following ideas may help you make a successful transition during this challenging process. Poker Parenting: 4 Ways Poker Skills Produce Parenting Thrills Even as a busy parent, I'm sure you've seen a poker show on TV or at least heard your friends or relatives talking about it. You might even be someone who's caught up in the poker craze of the past two years, riding the wave of a steep learning curve. As an avid poker player and father of two, I realize more each day how my poker skills help me raise my child's. Want to know how? Here are four ways to turn your poker skills into parenting thrills: New Baby ' Relax and Become a Yummy Mummy Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of a shock at first, to say the least. Sleepless nights and eventful days make it a struggle to get a shower and wash your hair in the morning, never mind applying make up and fiddling with volume brushes and hairdryers. This is why most mums have swapped their kitten heels and sleek hair for the more comfortable trainers and scrunchy. 5 Tips for Improving Communication With Your Teenager Parents are always looking for ways to open up the communication with their teenagers. Here are 5 ideas that are all within your control. Some may represent an attitude shift, some are tactics you can apply; all have the potential to dramatically improve the communication between you and your teen. Where Is Your Homework, Lisa' Is Homework Really That Important? Parents of Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers: 7 Universal Laws 1. The Law of the Beast Did You Get the Hidden Parenting Message in Finding Nemo' In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the sea turtle, "Dude, how do you know when they are ready'" childhood Obesity & Parents Healthy Food Confusion Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for their children. When they are able to opt for healthy choices, about two-thirds struggle to get their children to eat healthily, a poll of nearly 800 parents found. Developing Patient Partnerships (DPP), which commissioned the survey, said that parents need more support to tackle the growing problem of childhood obesity. childhood obesity has tripled in the past 20 years, official figures show. Blended Families Can Be Successful Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It would be easy to give up when faced with all the conflicting methods of parenting and discipline that come to a family who has joined forces together. The ABCs of Raising Twins As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins, I am often asked, "How do you do it'" I do not have an answer. I am just a regular 27 year old who has never known it any other way. Most people come home from the hospital with one baby. I , however, always seem to come out with a pair. Through my experiences, I feel that there is no such answer. Each child is a unique gift with their own personality, likes, dislikes, and own sense of self. I have no master plan. I deal with each moment as it comes and try to remember that these are the best days of my life. There are moments, I must admit, that I feel like my day will never end and my own personal identity is withering away. A smile or hug from my children washes this feeling away. I am a mother chosen for this great adventure and I press on. Create Your Dream Family There has been much attention in the media of late on the transformation of families, Dr Phil's Phenomenal Family Series and Super Nanny to name a few. I recently had the pleasure of being featured on a radio program, Coaching Corners in New York in which I spoke about creating your dream family by becoming the parent you want to be. Many parents have this hope but do not know where to begin and how to get there. Others know what to do but get side tracked; finding their present state of their family is far from what they want it to be. I hope this article will help those who are new parents create your dream family and those seeking to transform your family. I want to make parenting easier, more meaningful and encourage parents in their efforts withthe following four principles. Cooking With Your kids Helps Develop Motor Skills for Preschoolers Did you know that cooking with your kids is a natural way for them to develop motor skills? If you've never looked at cooking that way before, think again. There's a reason why kids have a universal love for cooking - just like for stacking blocks and banging! Considering Daycare? Consider the Pros and Cons When you're a parent it's a difficult decision to know whether to send your child to daycare or not. We have provided many of the pros and cons of sending your child to daycare for your consideration. In our opinion, nothing replaces the day-to-day interaction that you can provide with your child. We also believe that some interaction with other children either through occasional daycare, part-time, or through play-groups and other educational learning programs are invaluable. We also recognize that Mom or Dad also needs to have a break and occasional daycare can provide that for them. What we don't believe in is a baby or toddler being in someone else's care for eight hours or more a day everyday! That's not fair to your child. So with all that in mind, please consider the pros and cons listed below. And may you make the right decision for your children and yourself. Identifying Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in the Classroom: Eight Things Teachers Should Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is the phrase that is used to describe children who have significant problems with high levels of distractibility or inattention, impulsiveness, and often with excessive motor activity levels. There may be deficits in attention and impulse control without hyperactivity being present. In fact, recent studies indicate that as many as 40% of the ADD kids may not be hyperactive. kids And Chores - Make It Easy On Yourself! My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day. Entering Their Imaginative World In dealing with children with autism spectrum disorders, its all about relationship. These children are within a realm where they feel and respond much differently than others. There has been much focus on trying to eliminate certain behaviors or to evoke particular responses in children which actually become rote and repetitive for them without context. One of the goals in aiding these children should be in helping them find meaning. In order to do this we must be willing to not look at the child as broken, unable to respond, or even unable to communicate. These children DO communicate, however they are not always able to manipulate their senses to communicate in the typical ways of other children. As a result, they can become easily frustrated and trapped. The therapist must enter their imaginative world and learn to communicate in their language. What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up' Q. "What do you want to be when you grow up'" Ten Ways To Become Your Teenagers Best Friend Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's teens do want to consider their parents as friends, even though they think we could never understand the realities of their world. They are also interested in what it was like being a teenager during the Stone Age. Life without cell phones or the Internet must have been unimaginable!
|
| home | Parenting site map | Privacy policy |
| Copyright © 2011 parenting.babyinfocenter.com |
