spacer gif

New Parents And Teens Child Parenting
Good Parents and Kids Parenting Tips

Home      

Baby Names Meanings

Top 100 baby names

American Baby Boy Names

gre

This Parental Control Software Shows You Everything Your Child Does Online When You're Not There.

With an estimated One MILLION pedophiles online, you need parental controls to protect your children from child molesters and sexual predators. Click For More Info

spacer gif

The baby sleep solution | Baby shower games | Secret to baby modeling success | Baby sign language | Planning baby showers | Baby boy names |


spacer gif


Share |


You are free to use content from this page in your blog or website, in return for a link back to this page from that blog or website.



Helpful Tips for the Adoptive Grandparent


Few things are more completely enjoyable than becoming a grandparent. Grandchildren are one of life's joys, whether they come by birth or via adoption. All grandchildren are loved equally and are equally lovable.

When a new family member is adopted, share your excitement. Share snapshots. Exclaim about the traits that make this child a prodigy! And know that adoption brings some unique challenges. Following are a few suggestions for navigating once you find you are a member of a complex family.

People are fascinated by adoption, and this fascination can lead well-meaning friends and neighbors to pose very personal questions. Remember that a child's adoption story is akin to a conception story. It is private, and one should consult with the adopted person before sharing the details.

Think about language, and encourage others to do so. As an adopted person, I have heard this question all my life: "Have you ever met your real parents'" What this said to me as a child was, "Your adoptive parents are fake." As an adult, I answer, "I was raised by my real parents." It's a good idea to call the family of origin birth family (as in birth mother) as opposed to natural family (which implies the adoptive family is unnatural or artificial). Many people will have the best of intentions but use terms that confuse or hurt children.

If your family adopted internationally, you have become a member of a transcultural and often transracial complex family. Translated into day-to-day events, this means you might celebrate Chinese New Year in addition to the traditional holidays. Unfortunately, this also means that your grandchild will be confronted by bigotry and will need your support and sensitivity. Your lifetime of experiences will be key in shaping your responses. Be wholly honest.

Remember, throughout, that your grandchildren are connected to you and to the family. They may not look a lot like you or your child, but they will develop similar voice patterns, talents, tastes, and interests. Don't assume the adopted child will automatically know this-it took me 45 years to figure out that I got, first, my dry sense of humor from my adoptive father, and, second, my ability to 'stretch and save' from my grandmother, a North Carolina farmer. Every Carolina reunion I attend reminds me that genetics are not the only way to pass on family traits.

At a recent reunion, I was introduced to my mother's best childhood friend. They hadn't seen each other in over 60 years. The friend inspected me closely and stated, "You sure don't look like a Haney." I smiled back, shook my head, and said, "I sure don't." I knew what she really wanted to know. But at that moment I was completely my mother's daughter.

By Beth O'Malley, M.Ed. Copyright 2005, Beth O'Malley. Ms. O'Malley is an adoptee and adoption social worker, and the author of Lifebooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted child. Sign up for lifebook lessons at http://www.adoptionlifebooks.com/signup.htm ' no charge.



Helpful Gadget "Custom" Table Hooks -Set of 3
$9.95
End Date: Monday Mar-5-2012 4:18:41 PST
Buy It Now for only: $9.95
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

BLACK & DECKER ELEC JAR OPENER QUICK AND EASY, VERY HELPFUL
$20.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Saturday Feb-11-2012 7:48:53 PST
Buy It Now for only: $25.00
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Gay Climbing Groom and Helpful Groom Cake Topper
$38.75
End Date: Thursday Mar-8-2012 20:20:53 PST
Buy It Now for only: $38.75
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Funny Grandparent Signs Plaques Gifts GRANDCHILDREN ARE YOUR REWARD FOR...KIDS
$8.99
End Date: Friday Mar-2-2012 8:12:11 PST
Buy It Now for only: $8.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

New Helpful Precision Magnetic Screw Drivers 9Piece Set
$4.50
End Date: Thursday Feb-23-2012 23:11:25 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.50
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

WEDDING COMICAL COUPLE BRIDE AND GROOM CAKE TOPPER TOP - Can be Personalized!
$56.99
End Date: Sunday Feb-12-2012 0:15:38 PST
Buy It Now for only: $56.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

BAKERS DOZEN (13) UNIQUE HELPFUL KITCHEN UTENSILS USE THEM EVERYDAY--REDUCED!
$11.59
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 23:05:46 PST
Buy It Now for only: $11.59
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

A Grandparent House Is Where Cousins Becomes Best. ..Vinyl Wall Decal Sticker
$21.00
End Date: Wednesday Feb-29-2012 14:27:00 PST
Buy It Now for only: $21.00
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Reaching Bride Helpful Groom Only Wedding Cake Topper
$19.99
End Date: Saturday Feb-11-2012 4:44:02 PST
Buy It Now for only: $19.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

A Grandparent House Is Where Cousins Becomes Best. ..Vinyl Wall Decal Sticker
$11.00
End Date: Wednesday Feb-29-2012 14:27:00 PST
Buy It Now for only: $11.00
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

MEMA PAPA MAGNET Gift Grandparent name Design Buy any 3 items = Free Shipping
$3.95
End Date: Thursday Feb-23-2012 14:29:22 PST
Buy It Now for only: $3.95
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

spacer gif spacer gif spacer gif
home | Parenting site map | Privacy policy
Copyright © 2011 parenting.babyinfocenter.com